


Emotions Suck and Other Mottoes by Gigi Goode

by rayedictator



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cunnilingus, Edgeplay, F/F, Fluff, Love Confessions, Panic Attacks, Romance, Smut, Vaginal Fingering, cis lesbian au, was trying to be pwp but my framing device got too plotty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:36:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24830116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rayedictator/pseuds/rayedictator
Summary: Gigi is going to talk to Crystal about her fear of vulnerability even if it kills her. Crystal thinks of a better solution that doesn't involve dying.
Relationships: Gigi Goode/Crystal Methyd
Comments: 14
Kudos: 111





	Emotions Suck and Other Mottoes by Gigi Goode

**Author's Note:**

> Well, here I am less than a week later with more filth. I would say this is porn without plot but I can't write porn without a framing device and the framing device got a little beefy so there's some plot in there. 
> 
> I'm not going to explain why I lost my mind again like I did with my last fic, but I will give a brief summary.  
> 1\. I don't like writing RPF of people that might see it, but making them cis lesbian makes it far removed enough from the actual people that I'm okay with it.  
> 2\. Crystal or Gigi if you see this you can ask me to take it down, but don't tell anyone this happened. Also Crystal in her infinite clownery said she wanted to read fanfic of her and Gigi together on camera and I don't think she's interested in f/f ones but if so Crystal you can only read this if you first say crygi isn't real.  
> 3\. Crygi isn't real. And I'm real tired of Crystal and Gigi riling up these teenagers by pretending it might be. They're not dating ya'll. However, I think it's fairly obvious that Crystal and Gigi's character dynamic and drag aesthetic is very lesbian friendly which is why I wrote this and have another one planned already (god...)

Gigi and Crystal are an odd match. That's what Gigi thinks anyway. And she didn't think that because of their opposite appearances. Gigi with her always immaculately styled red hair and tailored designer or handmade outfits, simple and in colors that were either muted or neon. Crystal with her brown hair that had been dyed every color of the rainbow and impossibly curly without taking a straightener to it for an hour, if she wasn't in all black she was in every pastel color imaginable with countless necklaces, rings and bangles, every single bit of it carefully thrifted. And it also wasn't necessarily that Gigi is all dark, dry humor and a brain that never stops thinking or over-thinking compared to Crystal's always smiling, carefree wackiness. No, it was more because Crystal keeps her heart and every emotion she's ever had on her sleeve while Gigi keeps hers locked behind several doors with padlocks, a high-tech security system, and probably lasers or something. 

Which Gigi is fine with about herself. 

What she's not fine with is the fact that despite dating Crystal for over a year she's still not able to be vulnerable with her. It's stupid how scared she gets at the thought of exposing any weakness to Crystal even though she's been nothing but loving and understanding and kind. 

But that is going to end today. Gigi was going to open up to Crystal and what better way to start than telling her about her fear of being vulnerable. The little voice in her head that whispers that Crystal only likes her for her facade of perfection and composure and when she sees how scared and sad Gigi gets she will hate her be damned. 

Her apartment is all set up for date night. The couch is covered in throw blankets, A Nightmare on Elm Street is up on Netflix, and there's pizza from Crystal's favorite place in the kitchen. Hopefully it will make up for how unlikable Gigi is going to show herself to be. 

There's a series of knocks on her door, probably trying to imitate some song but Crystal doesn't have enough rhythm to be successful.

Gigi goes to the door and takes a deep breath before opening it.

“Who's ready to pajama party?” Crystal asks before Gigi can even greet her, swinging her hair, still it's natural dark brown, and overnight bag wildly. 

“Careful,” Gigi says, dodging the bag so it doesn't hit her legs but giggling at Crystal's enthusiasm nonetheless.

“How are you, baby?” Crystal stops wiggling to ask, putting a hand on Gigi's waist and kissing her quickly.

“Um, good,” Gigi says vaguely, closing the door behind Crystal, “You haven't dyed your hair.”

“Yeah, I can't decide what color to do next,” Crystal whines, “Purple or white or...maybe red? It hasn't been red in a while. We could be sexy redheads together.” Crystal wiggles her eyebrows and Gigi has to laugh again.

“Go get in your pajamas and grab some pizza,” Gigi says, pushing Crystal towards her bathroom.

Crystal goes in the bathroom to change and Gigi goes to the kitchen to grab her own plate as well as a bottle of her good wine. She was going to need it tonight.

Crystal comes out of the bathroom and makes a beeline for the kitchen as Gigi is putting the wine and some large glasses on her coffee table next to her plate of pizza. 

Crystal comes out of the kitchen with her own plate a minute later looking infinitely pleased. “You sure know how to treat a lady,” she says teasingly, plopping down on the couch.

“Only the best for you,” Gigi says, slightly sarcastic so Crystal can't tell how much she means it.

Of course that's Gigi's entire problem though, isn't it?

Crystal doesn't mind though and taps her ass as she fills their wine glasses up and Gigi turns to glare at her playfully. Gigi hands Crystal her wine glass and then sits down next to her with her own pizza in her lap and wine glass in her hand.

Gigi starts the movie and they sit and eat in silence besides Crystal's amused noises at her favorite parts.

Another reason they were an odd couple was that A Nightmare on Elm Street was _their_ movie. It was a favorite of both of them and what got them talking to each other in the first place during a mixer freshman year of college. And it was having tickets to a showing of that movie for retro night at the drive-in that gave Crystal the courage to ask Gigi on a date. Not that they actually watched the entire movie that time, more than half of the movie was spent with Gigi on top of Crystal in the passenger's seat kissing the life out of each other after months of tension. 

So needless to say they watch it a lot, whether in silence, quoting along, or maybe paying more attention to each other than the movie. 

When they finish eating Gigi takes both their plates and throws them in the sink figuring she could wash them later.

She goes back to the couch and cuddles into Crystal who throws one of the blankets over them. Gigi smiles to herself when Crystal wraps an arm around her and starts playing with her hair.

“I want to get a dog and name her Nancy Thompson,” Gigi says as they watch the fictional Nancy Thompson fall asleep in class.

“Oh my god, that's a great idea,” Crystal giggles, “Except make it a cat instead.”

“No, dog.”

“Cat.”

“Dog.”

“Cat that has a food dish shaped like a dog bone that says dog on it. That's my final offer.”

Gigi can't help but giggle. “This is not up for debate Crystal Elizabeth,” she says, finally looking over at her.

Crystal sighs dramatically. “Never thought I'd hear you say no to pussy.”

Gigi bursts into a fit of giggles and Crystal is beaming at her. 

“What?” Gigi asks when her laughter stops and Crystal is still smiling at her.

“I just really love that I can make you laugh,” Crystal says like she was commenting on the weather and not something that if Gigi said it would feel like she was baring her soul.

Gigi blushes. She should just say it right now right? Like ripping off a band-aid. Crystal, I hate emotions but I really love you. Crystal, I'm deathly afraid of being vulnerable with anyone but I want to be that with you and it's really scary. Crystal, I would let you kill me if you asked. No, too dark.

“Crystal, I-” Gigi can't finish the sentence, words caught in her throat. Which is for the best because she didn't even decide on what words she was going to use yet.

Crystal hums and tilts her head, looking expectantly at Gigi. 

Gigi's mouth clacks shut without her permission, it's so loud, Crystal has to have heard it. She can't do it. She's so scared.

“What's wrong, princess?” Crystal asks, now looking concerned. She gently pushes some of Gigi's hair behind her ear.

Gigi hates to think how she must look like right now if Crystal is asking her what's wrong. She probably looks like such a weirdo. 

The sound of glass shattering on the television screen seems so much louder in the silence and they both jump and turn to the TV where Freddy is tormenting Nancy.

“It's nothing,” Gigi says, quickly regaining composure now that she isn't staring into Crystal's eyes. 

She tries to turn her body back towards the TV, but Crystal's hand on her arm stops her. Still, she doesn't turn to look at Crystal just in case.

“You know if there's something you want to tell me you can,” Crystal said. She sounds a little sad and it's killing Gigi inside.

Of course Crystal wouldn't let it go just like that. Not after how freaked out Gigi must have looked.

“I don't know if I can,” Gigi says since it's the easiest thing she can say. She still doesn't look at Crystal though. 

Crystal makes a thoughtful noise. “What if I ask you questions and you can say yes or no?” she suggests.

Gigi takes a deep breath and glances at Crystal. “Okay.”

“Are you scared of something?” Crystal asks.

Gigi grimaces. Her face must have been really obvious. “Yes.”

“Does it have to do with me?” Crystal sounds sad again.

“No!” Gigi says quickly, looking at Crystal, hating to hear her like that, but then she realizes that's not really the truth, “Yes? Kinda?”

“Did I do something?” Crystal asks.

“No.”

“Is it something to do with you?”

“Yes.” Gigi feels panic rising in her stomach and she has to turn away from Crystal.

“Is it something that happened to you?”

“No.”

“Is it something about your personality?”

Gigi's hands start shaking. “Yes.”

She's ruined. She's already ruined. Crystal can already see her freaking out. She's going to think she's such a loser. How could Crystal ever want to be with someone who couldn't express her feelings and completely loses it at just the prospect of it?

“Okay, hang on a second,” Crystal's voice pulls her from her thoughts, “Can I touch you?”

Gigi still doesn't look at Crystal but she nods.

Crystal takes both of Gigi's shaking hands in hers and rubs them soothingly. “Okay, let's breath in through our nose and out through our mouth. Or...wait, is it the other way around.”

Gigi finally smiles slightly. “In through your mouth and out through your nose.”

“Yeah, that,” Crystal says with a nod.

They both breath deeply for a minute until Gigi calms down. Gigi finally looks at Crystal and Crystal leans in, slowly, so Gigi can back away or tell her to stop if she wants. She doesn't and Crystal finally is close enough to kiss her cheek and then her forehead gently.

“You know,” Crystal starts quietly, “There's not much you could tell me that would make me not like you. I mean, you already told me you hate One Direction.”

Gigi smiles again.

“But if you don't want to tell me something that's okay too. I just want you to be happy.”

God, that's the kind of thing Gigi should be saying to Crystal, not the other way around. 

“Emotions suck,” is the best she gets out. 

“What? You're telling me Gigi Goode doesn't like expressing herself?” Crystal says with fake awe.

Gigi finally lets out a soft laugh. “I want to though. For you. But...” She can't say it.

“Scared?” Crystal asks and Gigi nods, biting her lip, “It might not help, but whatever you are scared of me thinking or feeling won't happen. I promise. I love you.”

Gigi's breath hitches. This is the first I love you from either of them. Gigi wants to say it back, but she already knows the words would get caught in her throat. Instead she leans in and kisses Crystal, trying to show her feelings with her tongue in Crystal's mouth. It's not good enough, but maybe Crystal will accept it anyway.

Crystal reciprocates for a minute before gently pulling away, placing a hand on Gigi's collarbone. 

“I think too damn much,” Gigi murmurs against Crystal's lips, “I wish I could lose my mind for you.”

“You don't have to do anything for me,” Crystal assures, running her hand from Gigi's collarbone to her neck and then her jaw, “But if you want to stop thinking I can try helping with that.”

“What would you do?” Gigi asks looking into Crystal's eyes.

Crystal bites her lip and her eyes darken just thinking about it. “Edge you until you can't stand it and then make you come harder than you ever have in your life.”

A shudder runs through Gigi at the words. “Yes, please,” she whispers. 

Crystal's eyes don't leave Gigi's as she reaches for the remote control on the coffee table and shuts off the television. She stands, pulling Gigi up with her by the hand. 

Crystal finally turns away to lead them to Gigi's bedroom and it's then that Gigi realizes she can hear her heartbeat drumming in her ears. Gigi practically jumps Crystal when they reach her room, trying to focus on Crystal's lips instead of how fast her heart is going.

“Eager?” Crystal asks coyly, putting her hands on the bare skin of Gigi's waist from where her too short camisole rode up.

“Fuck my brains out,” Gigi whispers into Crystal's ear and kisses down her jaw. 

Gigi is pleased when Crystal's breath hitches and her fingers tighten at her waist. 

Sex is so much easier than talking or thinking about her feelings. If she could fuck everything she wanted to say into Crystal she would. 

Crystal pulls away from Gigi to sit on her bed, her legs spread. “Come here, princess,” she says, patting the space between her thighs.

Gigi gets on the bed on her knees facing Crystal.

“Nope,” Crystal says, grabbing Gigi's waist and turning her around, positioning Gigi so her back was pressed to Crystal's front and her ass was set comfortably against the apex of Crystal's thighs, “Like this.”

Gigi moans lightly as Crystal runs her hands up under her camisole and easily palms her small breasts in her hands, flicking her fingers playfully against her hardened nipples. 

Gigi throws her head back into Crystal's shoulder, arching into her touch. 

“Crys,” Gigi breathes out. 

Crystal hums in response and moves her hands down to pull Gigi's shirt off her body. Gigi leans back into Crystal once it's been thrown over the side of the bed and feels her nipple ring rub against her back through the fabric of Crystal's t-shirt.

“Take yours off too,” Gigi says, trying to turn.

Crystal stops her. “I'll take it off but you stay still okay?” she asks.

Gigi nods and leans forward so Crystal can slip off her t-shirt and discard it to the side. Gigi leans back again and enjoys the feeling of Crystal's bare breasts and the slightly cold metal of her nipple piercing against her back. 

Crystal's hands are quickly back on her, running down her stomach to the edge of her tiny pajama shorts. One hand slips under her shorts, but stays above her underwear, while the other runs fingertips across her stomach leaving muscles twitching in their wake. Gigi sucks in a breath as Crystal's fingers run over her center and the fabric of her underwear starts to dampen. 

“Crys,” Gigi sighs, her hands reaching to clutch at Crystal's legs. 

Crystal pulls her hands away and Gigi whines until Crystal grabs the band of her shorts. “Let's get these off,” she says in Gigi's ear.

Gigi nods and lifts herself up to help Crystal pull her shorts and underwear down her legs, kicking them off the rest of the way once they reach her knees.

Once she's completely naked Crystal takes Gigi's thighs and spreads them wide, hooking Gigi's ankles over Crystal's knees. 

Gigi misses having any friction and wants to close her legs, but that stops being an issue when Crystal starts rubbing her clit gently with two fingers. Gigi gasps lightly and thrusts into the touch. 

“So pretty,” Crystal murmurs, brushing Gigi's hair to the side with her free hand and kissing her neck.

Gigi is waiting for Crystal's fingers to move lower and enter her but it doesn't come. Instead those two fingers stay rubbing circles on her clit. 

“Crys, I'm going to come if you keep just doing that,” Gigi mutters.

“No you're not, I'm edging you remember?” Crystal asks, voice amused. 

“Fuck,” Gigi breathes. She had forgotten about that. 

Crystal speeds up her fingers on Gigi's clit until Gigi is arching and gasping, second away from coming. Then Crystal pulls her hand away and Gigi's thighs almost snap shut to get the friction back, but Crystal quickly digs her fingers into the soft skin of her inner thighs and keeps them open. Gigi is whining and squirming in Crystal's arms and as she moves in between Crystal's legs she can feel Crystal has started to soak through her underwear and pajama bottoms behind her. 

“Fuck, you're wet,” Gigi says as she calms down, “Do you want to get undressed?”

“It's fine, just let me touch you a little more,” Crystal says, her hand going back to Gigi's pussy like a magnet. She runs two fingers along Gigi's wet folds before entering her and curling them inside her making Gigi gasp. Crystal moves her fingers gently in and out of Gigi, her palm pressed to her clit so it gets some attention too.

“I love you,” Crystal says for the second time, running her free hand along Gigi's thigh and pressing her face to Gigi's neck.

Gigi just chokes out another moan, too turned on to even think about how she wants to say it back. She just knows she wants to touch Crystal. She reaches a hand behind her and grabs a handful of Crystal's long, curly hair pulling her into a kiss. Crystal kisses back, her tongue entering her mouth as her fingers speed up. Gigi's thighs are trembling and she about to come when Crystal pulls her hand away, slapping her hand onto her thigh so she can't even try to close them. Gigi pulls away from Crystal lips to whine, hips gyrating into nothingness. 

“Between the two of us we're going to have to change the sheets after this,” Crystal says with a laugh, clearly noticing how Gigi's continued leaking is leaving a wet spot on the sheets.

“Crys,” Gigi groans, not in the mood for her cheeriness. 

“Alright,” Crystal says, tapping Gigi's thigh, “I'm going to take my bottoms off. You okay if I get up?”

Gigi gives an exasperated sigh but nods to give Crystal permission. Crystal carefully moves from behind Gigi and stands, pulling her pajama pants and underwear down and kicking them to the side. Gigi can see her inner thighs glistening from the wetness running down them and she licks her lips. She wants to eat Crystal out so bad, but knows she will say no because she's fixated on driving Gigi insane. 

“You want to come this time or one more?” Crystal asks, getting back on the bed. She doesn't get behind Gigi again, this time settling between Gigi's still spread legs. 

“One more,” Gigi says making Crystal smirk. 

“Shut up,” Gigi says, laying more comfortably against the pillows.

“Didn't say anything,” Crystal sing-songs, kissing down Gigi's neck and going down between her breasts to her stomach. She blows a raspberry on the soft skin there and Gigi bursts into giggles.

“Stop!” Gigi says, trying to sound annoyed, “You're supposed to be fucking my brains out.”

“Hey, laughter during sex is really good,” Crystal says, sliding her index and middle finger back into Gigi with ease. 

Gigi just moans, too distracted to argue. 

Crystal continues fucking Gigi with her fingers leisurely, alternating between kissing and running her tongue along Gigi's clit. Gigi's hand travels down the thread through Crystal's curly hair, holding it gently. 

“Harder,” Gigi asks breathlessly. 

Crystal complies, inserting a third finger that makes Gigi gasp. She nips and kisses Gigi's thighs as she thrusts her fingers into her faster and faster until Gigi is arching off the bed only to pull her hands and mouth away at the last second. 

Gigi whines so loudly Crystal is a little worried the neighbors will come knocking to see what's wrong. Crystal lets Gigi's thighs close slightly, but moves her own thigh in between so they don't close all the way. Crystal cuddles next to Gigi, looking very pleased with herself which makes Gigi glare halfheartedly. 

“You said one more,” Crystal says, poking her nose. 

“Yeah, so time to come now,” Gigi says, wiggling down to where's Crystal's thigh is placed between her own to rub against her. Crystal puts a hand on Gigi's ass and pulls her closer so she can grind on her thigh better. Gigi moves one of her thighs higher so she can press against Crystal and sucks in a breath at how wet she is. 

“Fuck,” Gigi murmurs, feeling how easily Crystal slides against her.

“I know, what is this a slip'n'slide?” Crystal asks and Gigi starts laughing so hard she unknowingly pulls away. Crystal lets her move away, letting their thighs separate. She moves her hand back down to rub Gigi's clit making her gasp in between giggles.

Gigi reaches for Crystal and practically clings to her face, she's still laughing slightly but after staring into Crystal's eyes for a second too long she's suddenly crying. Crystal, in shock, tries to pull her hand away, but Gigi grabs it and forces her hand back on her clit.

“Make me come, please make me come, please, please, please,” she mutters as tears stream down her face.

Crystal can only oblige and rub Gigi's clit with her fingers until she comes gasping and shuddering in Crystal's hand. She continues to gently touch Gigi's clit and run her fingers along her wet folds until Gigi is no longer shaking, but is still gently sobbing into Crystal's neck.

“Gigi, what's wrong?” Crystal asks, bringing her hand to brush Gigi's hair away so she can touch her neck, trying to get Gigi to look at her. Crystal's own voice is starting to get watery with emotion, sympathetic as ever.

Gigi pulls back like Crystal wants and they stare into each others eyes for a minute. Crystal opens her mouth again to say something, but Gigi doesn't let her get a word out, kissing her hard on the lips. Gigi is clinging to her shoulders and Crystal let's both hands drift down to Gigi's waist, holding her as close as possible. 

Gigi finally pulls away to rest her forehead against Crystal's, eyes still closed. “I love you,” she says with a wet laugh. 

“I-”

“I don't like being vulnerable with people but I want to be that with you because I love you so much but it's scary and I get so scared I act like an idiot and then I get worried you'll hate me for being a weirdo who is afraid of her own feelings but, like, even though I'm scared and think emotions suck I really love you and I'm so happy that I do,” Gigi rushes out.

“Oh my god, did I really fuck your brains out?” Crystal asks, looking genuinely concerned which makes Gigi laugh more. 

Gigi leans in a kisses Crystal again which Crystal returns for a second before cupping Gigi's face and pulling away. “Geeg, I would never hate you, okay? I completely understand if you're scared and you can tell me whatever you want. You can even write it down or something if you're too nervous to tell me.”

“I'll try,” Gigi promises and Crystal pulls her into a hug.

Gigi turns her head so her mouth is next to Crystal's ear, “Alright, I need to eat you out.”


End file.
